Emotional intelligence for wellbeing

Emotional intelligence, also called EQ, is the ability to identify, understand and manage one’s own emotions and that of others which helps in adapting to different environments and also in reaching our life goals.

This concept developed by David Goleman in 1995, unlike IQ, is not an innate ability. It is a combination of traits and skills learnt in early life mostly from our environment. Emotional intelligence can be relearned and enhanced throughout life.

The core qualities for EQ are self-awareness, empathy, openness to feedback and change, emotional self-regulation effective communication, motivation and pro-social skills. High EQ supports increased personal wellbeing, family cohesion, occupational success, increased team work and leadership abilities. Emotional intelligence also helps people manage stress, understand others & be active socially.

Checkpoint: Low EQ

Feeling overwhelmed with negative emotions
Being argumentative
Highly judgmental of others actions
Feeling misunderstood very often
Difficulty accepting feedback
Holding grudges for a long time
Not listening in conversations
Blaming
Frequent outbursts /poor emotional control
Self-centeredness
Hyper sensitive to rejection and/or

How to Boost Emotional Intelligence

If you have gaps in your emotional self-regulation and skills, there are ways you can boost your emotional intelligence.

Practice Active Listening
According to Psychology Today, only about 10 percent of people listen effectively. It’s easy to get distracted by technology, background noise, and own thoughts. Yet, to be an effective communicator and emotionally intelligent team player, you need to be an active listener. Try to focus on what the speaker is saying and show them that you’re engaged by paraphrasing, questioning and using non-verbal cues like nodding.
Pay Attention to Your Emotions (self-awareness)
To understand the emotions of others, you need to understand your own first. When you catch yourself having a extremely strong emotion, whether it’s a positive or negative one, make a conscious effort to identify the emotion and the triggering events. This helps you to distance yourself from the emotion and get more control.
Observe your emotional regulation style (how you handle grief, anger, shame, jealousy )
Do you suppress your emotions, ruminate on them for long periods or avoid acknowledging emotional experience?
Do you show and communicate emotions freely, do you blame others or do you have angry / crying outbursts?

Self-Motivation:
Self- verbalizations help to motivate oneself to keep working on difficult goals and persevere in spite of challenges & failures. Be aware of automatic negative self-talk.

Journaling:
At the end of your work day reflect on challenging social interactions, triggering people / events and your reactions to them, both normal and excessive. By writing down the association of underlying beliefs to enduring mood states, you can discover recurring patterns in your calmness as well as emotional outbursts. This boosts emotional self-regulation where you can stay in control.

Practice Mindfulness
Mindfulness practices enhance awareness of body, thoughts, and surroundings and can help manage stress. Mindfulness practices commonly being used are Body scan, mindful breathing, practicing appreciation and gratitude.

Conflict Resolution & managing relationships
Strong relationships can help create a sense of unity and purpose. Conflict resolution methods such as collaboration, open communication can have a positive impact on persons beyond your immediate family and friends.